I am looking at 54 and seeing that I am far far away from where I thought I would be spiritually, physically, relationally and emotionally.  How did it get so easy to set my life adrift?  To let go of the dreams and goals I had and just settle?  I have to stop looking outside for the answers. 

I wrote a song a few years ago and the words of the chorus state .... Can you really forgive my sin ... is it really washed away like its never been ... Can you really see inside me and still love me.

It almost seems too far to travel to get back where I want to be.   I am looking at the name of my blog.  It says .. A long obedience in the same direction.  This comes from a book I read from Eugene Peterson and still sticks in my mind. 

We are all on a journey and it will take a long obedience to God in the same direction to arrive where He wants us to be and in the shape He'd like us to be in when we get there!

Keith,  stop getting off track.  Stop choosing to derail yourself. Stop choosing your ways over His ways.  Trust Him!  Accept His forgiveness.  Listen to the voice that is inside and sync up with it.  Obey it.  Hear it!